Your Unconscious Relational Blueprint

TRANSCRIPT:

Most people are operating from an unconscious relational blueprint. And what that means is that we have these ways that we have been wired relationally in our upbringing, through childhood, but also like through the generational patterns that have come before us, and the ancestral line that we've we've come from, and that's also like the personal story, but also the collective story, right?

So our relationship wiring is influenced by what we can see, or what we've inherited through our family dynamics, but it's also way, way, way back than that, and we've been conditioned, and we've been like contorted and twisted into this, into these ways of relating that are influenced by all by these factors, ancestral, generational, childhood, ancestral, generational family childhood, right? And so we kind of inherit this like blueprint based on all of these influences, right?

And this blueprint, the this relational blueprint, kind of lives in our nervous system. The way that relationships happen is through the body. It's through the nervous system. It's through the heart. It's through like the animal, instinctual part of us. Relationships, the the attraction, the pull to people, the way that we like... the Eros, the arrows of love. It's all through this like subterranean realm made up of our nervous system, our heart, our animal body, our instinctual body. So when we get into relationships like that, though hat  wiring of us is, is where the magic is happening is, is the magic that is where the attraction comes from. That make sense?

So it's really like, this is where the blueprint comes from. It's like we're wired through ancestral, generational, family, childhood, lives in the in the underbelly of us, and informs like how we are relationally wired. I mean, it's so mysterious who we who were attracted to, right? Why we're attracted to this person? Why do we fall in love? And it's not a conscious it's not a rational, conscious thing. It's an instinctual body thing, right? So, you know, we'll get, we'll become attracted to someone, then we'll get attached to them, then we'll fall in love with them, and then we'll get into relationship with them, and then we'll get a heartbroken or we'll, you know, end up but it's not on a conscious... it's not on a mind-based program. It's the way that the body and the nervous system, the heart and the instinctual in the animal body, are trying to come into consciousness, right?

So, you know, we fall in love, and it's like, oh, I'm falling in love and da-da-da, and then suddenly, boom, something happens when the heartbreak happens or the betrayal happens. And this can happen, like, if we're in in, you know, a short, shorter term relationship or a longer term relationship, all these things can happen. And our, like, our poor little mind is like: "why is this happening to me, you know? Why?
Why is this so hard? Why is this? Why? Why?" You know, it's like our minds wrestle with the the tragedy and the comedy and the Divine Comedy of being a human being, falling in love or being in love, make sense?

So, yeah, yeah. I think one of the things that is really like this is where it gets really good to become aware of this, because when you cultivate this attunement to the way in which your nervous system, your heart, your animal body, your instincts, are running the show when it comes to like, attraction, bonding relationship, then you can start to have more agency over it, and you can start to decode, and you can start to unravel some of the deep imprints that are there in the nervous system, in the heart and the body, right?

So, you know, we have to fall in love and have a heart broken in relationship or outside relationship enough times for this to become, like, for that way to become conscious, make sense? It's like, it's like, when you start out dating, when you're in your, you know your teens, or your, you know your early 20s, you kind of go through these. I mean, some people get together and they stay together, and they do the work together, and that's beautiful. And there will be like ways in which you're in it, you know, continually initiating each other. And for others, it will be that you'll come in and out of different relationships. And those relationships will be initiating you, and they'll be revealing some of the deeper, like shadows and wounds and imprints that are held in your nervous system and your heart and your body as part of those initiatory cycles.

So it's kind of like we're not we're not first not taught the relational paradigm, the paradigm that we live in is anti-relational. So what happens when we get into relationship and it gets difficult, or we meet an edge, or we meet a pattern, or we meet something, it's like, oh, the mind or the way of thinking, This isn't right, or this isn't... this is a bad relationship. You know, all of the things, and you know, there are relationships that are very toxic and they don't serve us, and we need to be discerning, and we need to get out, and we need to put boundaries, and all of those things that's very, very necessary. And always like this, the kind of spiritual initiation of these relationships is that they reveal deeper layers of what's held in the subconscious and unconscious. For us, it doesn't mean to stay we need to stay in the relationship to do our work. Sometimes it's very much about getting out the relationship to be able to integrate what we've what we've received, or what's happened. But if we find ourselves like what happened, what will happen is there'll be like the patterns that keep repeating. The pattern that keeps repeating until you see it clearly enough that it heals and you don't have to repeat it. So through these relationships, or through the dynamics within a relationship, there's a pattern that keeps repeating because there's something in your nervous system, relational wiring that wants to be integrated.

And so you know, the the woman of you, the powerful Creatrix, woman of you, will take responsibility for her part in the dynamic, for being in a relationship where this pattern keeps perpetuating. The victim mentality will blame the other person for this and this and this, and then you'll never awaken and never truly heal. But the woman in us goes very the woman, the powerful medicine woman in us has the capacities to go deeply in, to alchemize what is being asked to be alchemized, yeah?

So in this way, like our relational work becomes, can become some of our deepest shadow work, and that's not a bad thing. It's it is the way of relationship is that relationships will bring up your deepest, deepest, deepest wounds. And it's not a bad thing, like the mind and the the anti-relational consciousness that we've inherited, will want to make it wrong. We'll want to make you you wrong for getting yourself in that situation. Will want to make the other person wrong for making you suffer in the way that you're suffering.

But when we can, like, recognize the way in which there's deep patterns within us that want to be resolved, then relationships become the vehicle for our deepest spiritual growth.